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"She who laughs last,
laughs best!"

"Laughter is the
best medicine."

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, trip over a big bag of garbage and fall on the sidewalk breaking a bone or two and you fall alone!"

Advanced Joke Three

"The General's Dog"
This joke is about an ordinary soldier talking to a General. He tried to be careful with his words, but he slipped up (he made a mistake) at the end. Enjoy!
It was a dark, (1) stormy, night. The soldier was on his first (2) assignment, and it was (3) guard duty. A (4) General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The (5) nervous young (6) Private jumped to (7) attention, made a perfect (8) salute, and (9) snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!" The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?" Well, it wasn't a nice night, but the Private (10) wasn't going to disagree with the General, so he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!". The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find (11) soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?" The Private didn't agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog (12) to train." The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General continued "I got this dog for my wife." The Private simply said "Good (13) trade Sir!" (1) with lots of rain and maybe lightning and thunder
(2) a job
(3) he had to stand outside all night to watch for trouble
(4) the top person in an army
(5) worried, a little bit afraid
(6) the lowest person in an army, an ordinary soldier
(7) standing straight and tall, ready for anything
(8) a sign with his hand held up to his forehead
(9) spoke loudly and clearly
(10) he had to agree!
(11) make him feel calm
(12) to teach
(13) an exchange
Explanation: When the General said "I got this dog for my wife", the soldier thought the General got rid of his wife (he gave his wife to somebody else) and got the dog in exchange! The soldier is saying this as a compliment, as something good - the General is very smart to trade his wife for such a beautiful dog! Do you think the General would agree or disagree with the soldier???

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