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"She who laughs last,
laughs best!"

"Laughter is the
best medicine."

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, trip over a big bag of garbage and fall on the sidewalk breaking a bone or two and you fall alone!"

Advanced Joke Five

"A Quick Thinker"
This joke is about a young man who gets himself into trouble but can always get himself out of trouble by thinking fast. Enjoy!
There was a boy who worked in (1) the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half (2) a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy explained that he would have to ask the manager and so he walked into the stock room and said, "There is (3) some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager (4) okayed the request and the man (5) went on his way. Later on the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out of it. You (6) think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?" The boy replied, (7) "Minnesota, sir." "Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" (8) inquired the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just (9) whores and hockey players up there." "My wife is from Minnesota", (10) exclaimed the manager. The boy instantly replied, "Really! What team did she play for?" (1) the part of a supermarket that sells fresh vegetables and fruits
(2) one round "piece" of lettuce (it looks like a head, doesn't it?)
(3) a stupid man ("some" suggests that he is not important)
(4) "ok" is made into a verb by some people - he said "ok"
(5) went out
(6) think quickly
(7) a very cold state in the north of the U.S.
(8) asked
(9) prostitutes (women who sell their bodies for money)
(10) said loudly
Explanation: The boss saw him get out of trouble once but then the young man insulted all women of his home state of Minnesota. Of course he just assumed the boss' wife played hockey because she could not be one of those bad women who sell themselves. Do you think the boss believed him?

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