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"She who laughs last,
laughs best!"

"Laughter is the
best medicine."

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, trip over a big bag of garbage and fall on the sidewalk breaking a bone or two and you fall alone!"

Advanced Joke Seven

"A Good Excuse?"
This joke is about a man in New York City who gives an excuse to his boss because he is late to work again. He tells a long story with many details. Sometimes, more details make a story sound more realistic. Do you think this story is realistic? What part is the MOST unrealistic in your opinion?
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked (1) sarcastically. "Let's hear a good (2) excuse for a change." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. (3) The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then (4) the drawbridge got (5) stuck. (6) Rather than let you down, I (7) swam across the river. Look, my suit's still (8) damp. I ran out to the airport, got a ride on (9) Donald Trump's (10) helicopter, landed on top of (11) Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here (12) piggyback by one of (13) the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously (14) disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes." (1) in a critical way - he is suggesting that Jones always gives bad reasons for being late
(2) a reason for doing something wrong
(3) he could say "my wife" but we often do say "the wife" to refer to our own wife
(4) a bridge that rises to let boats go under (but cars on the bridge must stop)
(5) it could not move
(6) instead of
(7) past of "swim"
(8) a little bit wet (you can feel the water)
(9) a famous, and rich, businessman in New York
(10) it's like an airplane but it goes straight up and has a big propeller (like a wing) on the top that goes around
(11) a famous place for listening to music or watching live shows in New York City
(12) one person is carried on another person's back
(13) a very famous group of dancers
(14) he thinks it's not a good story
Explanation: So, of all the unbelievable things Mr. Jones described, the fact that his wife got ready in only ten minutes seems the most unbelievable to the boss. Well, now that I think about it, it may be true! What do you think?

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